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Yabba Dabble Doo

Yesterday I committed to NaBloPoMo, an incredible commitment to writing a blog post every day during the month of November. Lying in bed this morning I was lamenting the fact that I’d not written a blog post responding to yesterday’s prompt. I did some thinking about it, but just did not write those thoughts down. Looking over my laptop’s library this morning I perceived a theme: I dabble. I explore many avenues of expression, volunteer experience, arts and crafts, spiritual endeavors— but rarely stick with anything for an extended period of time. I hop around. Looking back, I think I’ve always done this. I’m on a perennial quest for fulfillment…and I just can’t get no satisfaction.

But, maybe that’s too harsh of a diagnosis. I admit to being a bit attention deficit, but I think the real problem is a combination of lack of discipline and routine. Also, the quest for perfection is a perfect setup for disappointment—the kind that crushes any ongoing inspiration. I need to get over that one pronto.

So now what?

In a moment of overriding hopefulness, I signed up for the NaBloPoMo. “I can do this,” I said to myself. It could get me back on that track. Plus, it would make me feel better about having this pretty, neglected blog all set up and waiting for me every day.

What I hope to do is rediscover my voice. That means sticking to this until I do.

I recently turned 60. Even though I said that number didn’t mean anything, I feel like it is really a time of change for me. I hope to share this experience and learn from my readers what theirs are like. What does it mean? How does it feel? How are we perceived? What surprises are there? Do we want to accomplish anything new? What stops us?

Yesterday while I was thinking about the blog challenge and my history of dabbling, my thoughts strayed to our bean crop. This year was a dismal failure, the first failure in my memory over decades of gardening. The summer languished with nary a handful of Blue Lakes. BUT, several weeks ago my husband and I were readying ourselves to tear out the vines and clean up the garden space when we discovered the beans were actually coming on! Months of fallow gave way to baskets of autumn beans! We are still gathering beans for dinner several times a week, and probably will until the first frost.

The analogy here? You just never know what surprise may come late, when you least expect it.

NaBloPoMo November 2014

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Dream On

At a recent Weight Watcher’s meeting I attended, the topic of the lecture was “realizing dreams.” The speaker encouraged us to think about our dreams and how we go about making them come about (goals).

I was a bit stunned to begin with, as I could not identify a personal dream. The last goal I set for myself and accomplished was earning my Bachelor’s degree. Seven years ago! The related dream was working in public information-public relations in the health care field.

Well, then the bottom fell out of the economy and my dream was dashed by every out-of-work journalist fleeing downsizing newspapers and flooding the job force. Subsequent layoffs in the government sector have diminished hopes of ever realizing that dream of spreading the gospel of public health to my community. Non-profits employ established and tenured reporters and editors who used to work for dailies.

I am happy where I’ve landed, but the speaker challenges me to look inside and figure out if there are dreams I’m too distracted by daily life to dream. The only challenging goal I work toward right now is the weight control— and successfully creating this blog.

So….of what do I dream now? What do YOU dream, reader?